5 realistic benefits of being single

I’m not going to lie to you…

There are some aspects to being single which really suck. And this is coming from someone who loves being single.

It would be dishonest of me to write an entire blog and website about how great solo life is because sometimes, it just doesn’t feel that way. And that’s okay. The aim of this website isn’t just to harp on about how perfect single life is as that would be disingenuous. What I wanted to do was to create a safe space in which people who were single by choice or circumstance could understand that they can still thrive and live their dream life regardless of relationship status.

That said, I do want to highlight some realistic benefits of being single. Note the word, realistic. I have come across countless articles announcing things like ‘being single increases your fitness!’ or ‘being single means you can travel the world!’ Does it? Because my bank balance would vehemently disagree.

The real benefits of being single (definitely not financial *She types furiously*) aren’t about suddenly having ‘loads of extra cash’ or ‘less stress in your life’ but instead about self discovery and development, getting to know the real you, and having the kind of freedom that a romantic relationship may not allow.

You are your priority

In a romantic relationship, you prioritise your partner, and they prioritise you. You’re a team. You have each others backs. When you’re single, you are your main priority. You can redirect your attention to yourself, making stronger connections with your support system, and really getting to know who you are on a deeper level. You get to learn exactly what you want out of life, how to make big life changing decisions alone, and find out what really makes you happy. And best of all? No compromise.

You develop independence

Being single forces you to rely on yourself, so you have to learn to trust in your abilities. Being accountable for all your decisions, your finances, you future, can be pretty scary but you also know you am in safe hands. Nobody has your best interests at heart more than you. Knowing that you are capable of standing on your own two feet allows you to build confidence so you can handle whatever is thrown at you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about rejecting support from your friends and family to show how independent you are, far from it, it’s about knowing you are capable of taking care of yourself.

You strengthen your support system

I’ve written about how to create a friendship support system when you’re single, but I mean it when I say that being single allows you to lean into your friendships, your family and community. Instead of focusing your energy into one person, you can spread it across a community of people who love and support you. The depth of these relationships are endless if you really commit to them. As one of my friends who became single recently put it, ‘My friendships, my people, the people I have curated, I can’t describe it but I feel like it transcends a normal friendship. I have my chosen family.’

The growth is unmatched

And I mean this in every sense. Want to focus entirely on your career? Great, you have the time and energy to do this. Actually, want to swap career? The only person who needs to be in on that decision, is you. Embrace the space that single life allows to expand in all directions. Go to therapy (for the love of god, go) try living in a different city, maybe there’s a gap year with your name on it or a job abroad that you really want to try. Maybe you just want to learn more about yourself. Without compromise, or taking someone else’s timeline into account, you are free to grow however you choose.

You get to know yourself

I once wrote ‘I like the colour green,’ in my journal. I then made a list of all the other things I actually liked because I realised, at 29 years old that I had no idea who I was. My twenties were focused on my career, trying (and failing) to date and pretend I enjoyed it and I’d forgotten to actually pay attention to who I was during that time. Being single allows you to really lean in to who you are and what you enjoy doing. You can focus on your passions, learn your likes and dislikes, find out what you’re comfortable with and what you won’t tolerate, get to know your own body and what your feelings and emotions actually mean for you.

Being single may come with some downsides but it also provides you with a canvas to paint your own picture. The opportunities you have to deep dive into yourself whilst you’re living solo are priceless. They give you the chance to really discover who you are and how you want your life to look.

You don’t have to wait for a partner to feel fulfilled - look at all the opportunity for fulfilment right here!