5 ways to turn around a bad day - when you’re single and live alone

Written By Madeleine Cole

I have had a day let me tell you.  

Holy moly.  

I’m sat on my sofa currently writing this after dragging myself out of a scroll hole to try and suck back some desperately needed dopamine. Today was one of those ‘REALLY?!’ days *flips table aggressively* (but not really) 

10 hours of being shouted at, cried at, belittled and dealing with far too many complexities that are way beyond my scope of practice. Ah, *sips tea* just another day working for the NHS!

But here’s the thing when you live alone: when you come home after a day like that there’s nobody there to greet you with a ‘what a howler of a day, shall we crack a gin and have a debrief?’ It’s just you, your brain and the risk of drowning in instagram reels until bedtime.  

So as my brain slowly pieces itself back together after that shit show, I thought it would be a good idea to write about how I manage a hellish day. 

Here’s my 5-step bad day reset for when you’re single, living alone and absolutely over the day. 

1. Call, voice note, or message somebody.

And not just anybody. Make sure you call the person who is going to give you what you need in that moment. I have called people before, steam coming out of my ears, fury emanating from every pore in my body, expecting a conversation with them to help bring me back down from the stratosphere, only to get a response that didn’t align with what I needed.  

So now my friends and I ask this: Comfort or solutions? 

We started this after one too many calls where we’d try to ‘fix’ the issue. If you want solutions, they can be on hand to dish out some options. If you want comfort, they can insert a dramatic gasp where required, validate your feelings (unless you’re being completely outrageous) and then remind you of your brilliance.  

Either way, picking someone who is on your wavelength is a massive help.

2. Move your body 

It’s annoying but it’s true.

The best way to get out of your head is to get into your body, especially if you’re someone who tends to ruminate on things. (Hi). Whether it’s a rage induced sprint session (save this for a truly terrible day), some evening yoga flow, lifting some heavy weights or a ten minute walk round the park, moving literally shifts the energy and, I find, helps ease the fogginess that comes with a truely crap day.

 3. Do something you actually enjoy 

I know, it sounds obvious.  But I know all too well what happens when you come home from work, exhausted, pissed off, and desperate to shut your brain off for a bit. The sofa gives you its ‘come to bed’ eyes and you end up in the same spot, wasting your precious few hours of evening doing ... well nothing much.  

Instead, try to spend a little time doing something (not scrolling) that genuinely brings you joy. 

Pick up your book, cook yourself something you love, craft, watch your comfort show or put on your comfiest comfies and curl up into the cosiest little angry croissant there ever was... whatever it is, make sure it’s something that fills your cup, even just a little bit.  

(The photo at the top of the page was taken when I was having a truly bad reaction to turning 30. So comfies went on, the croissant position was adopted and my friend helpfully took a photo of my tantrum.)

  4. Change up your space  

Don’t go mad. I’m not talking about a full Marie Kondo ‘does it spark joy’ vibe. I’m saying: 

  • Open a window and get some fresh air.  

  • Light an amazing smelling candle (rituals, I see you).   

  • Step outside, even just for 5 minutes 

  • Or just tidy one area of your living space. Small changes help. 

  5. Create your very own comfort ritual 

This is your ‘bad day toolkit.’ Note down the things that work for you. That way, you have a ready-made collection of ways to make yourself feel better.  

Maybe that is dancing around to Lizzo, driving home, but screaming heavy metal at the top of your lungs or having an aesthetic bubble bath that nobody will see, remind yourself that you have the power to help yourself feel better.  

Mine? An easy meal that doesn’t take brain power, candles, cosy loungewear, and a hot chocolate. And then shutting out the world for the evening.

 

Final thought -  

Whilst living alone may seem daunting when you’ve been spat out the tumble dryer of life, the take away from this is that you can reclaim your day, choose how you want to recover and give yourself exactly what you need. The best part? Doing lots of nice things for yourself so you can figure out what helps on days like these. 

Most importantly, don’t ignore the bad day. Feel your feelings, process them and remind yourself that that you can still create a sanctuary that’s safe and comforting, and entirely yours.  

Madeleine Cole